The reasons behind the end of any relationship are often very personal. Ideally, a best friend will be with you through thick and through thin... but these stories tell us differently. Redditor _haxden91 _got the proverbial ball rolling with the following question:
I have a daughter with a genetic disorder, who was really sick when she was born, which was shocking to everyone because we had no idea anything was wrong. As we were processing and grieving she (ex best friend) told me:
She was maid of honor in my wedding. After, I would try to make plans with her for lunch or whatever, and she always cancelled the day of. Never gave a reason just "oh I forgot I can't, some other time". I realized I was the only one putting in any effort so I just stopped trying to do things with her. I figured if she wanted to do something she'd get ahold of me.
I got married in July of this year, haven't heard from her since.
She's toxic. Another friend of mine described her as an energy sucker, which I found to be really accurate. She always has to have attention from men, even if that means causing needless drama to get them to focus on her. She's difficult to deal with because of this need for attention. I love her, and she knows me better than 98% of the people in my life but as we've gotten older her adult mode hasn't clicked on while mine has and it's hard for me to spend time with her because our priorities are so different now.
He became a domestic abuser. Started hitting his girlfriends in high school. No thanks.
She had a baby, and then one day we were having lunch and she told me "You know, I only want to hang out with other moms from now on." I didn't quite get the hint, but she ignored all my texts and emails for a few months and I finally realized what she was trying to tell me back there.
She flipped and went super saiyan because I had the audacity to make plans with another friend, and invite her. Instead of making plans with her first then inviting my other friend. She then pinned me to a chair and started screaming in my face. That's the day i fired my maid of honour, and booted her from my life. She then smashed my car window that night.
Because I abused his love, kindness and support.
I was in a terrible place in my life and had an emotionally abusive ex that I couldn't stay away from and i would drop my friend every time the ex would take me back. I was terrible to him. What really sucks, is that I think somewhere deep down I was a little bit in love with my friend but I never ever thought he would feel the same and so I ended up being f*cking awful to him.
Dropped me at the first sign of a boyfriend. Lied to a guy about the paternity of her unborn child. Several abortions because she couldn't be arsed to manage her contraception. Borrowed money and never paid back. Had a new boyfriend every week. Cheated on every guy she got into a relationship with. Refers to herself as a 'princess' and a 'brat' - at nearly 30 years old.
I just don't need that shit in my life.
I want a friend on a mutual maturity level, with some morals, and their own money - I didn't work my ass off while you bummed around, to get a good job, to then finance her!
The attention seeking ahole flunked medical school and was so afraid of his parents that he "ran away" to join the insurgency in Iraq in 2006 (we're from Jordan). Apparently he wanted to go on Jihad and fight the Americans.
After he disappeared his parents turned on me, accusing me of recruiting him to go, they proceeded to report me to the police and national security as well as going to all my family and friends houses calling me all manner of things from murderer to a religious recruiter. The incredibly ironic thing is that I'm the farthest thing from religious. I was dragged through police stations, interrogated and from what I was told, put on a watch list(which includes phone tapping).
He eventually turned up and from what I heard, he was hiding in some farm in the countryside for weeks. It was one of the worst periods in my life, and when he reached out he had the audacity to defend his and his parents actions.
We were huge buddies at university, then went our separate ways for career. But the week before I emigrated, I travelled across the country to his home town and we camped out in an abandoned quarry, building shacks, making fires, drinking whisky and talking bollocks. It was my last great time in my homeland before leaving. During that trip I met his new girlfriend, just long enough for a cup of coffee before we went out. She seemed nice, and I was glad he'd found someone.
Fast forward three years, and he invites me back for a guy's weekend before he gets married. We go go-karting, paintball, drinking - all the usual stuff. It's just him and me in his little house in his village, and I ask where his wife-to-be is since they're clearly living together at this pojnt.
"Oh, she's gone to stay at her mother's for a few days".
"That was nice of her - giving you space to let off some steam," I casually comment.
"Not really," he says. "She just doesn't like me when I'm around you."
That sentence was a slap in the face that still stings a decade later. I'd met the girl for 15 minutes three years earlier, and she'd taken an instant dislike to me. I don't know what I did, I don't know what I'd said to offend her so badly, and my friend never volunteered any further information. We still had a great weekend together, he and I, playing hungover golf and eating all the student shit we'd survived on years before, but there was always that nagging thought in my mind of 'what had I done, what didn't she like? Is it me in particular or just something I represent?'
I was invited to the wedding, but I couldn't get rid of that nagging thought that the bride despised me, so I made my excuses and didn't go. I've only spoken to him once since, via sms, to congratulate him on the birth of his kid, and that was 5 years ago. I know he's got a happy life now, and I don't want to turn up and spoil it.
He nosedived hard into a downward spiral of really piss-poor decisions and just kept singing the blues about how bad his life was as though he weren't actively and directly contributing to it being that way.
He quit college and signed up for ITT Tech because a friend of his said it was better than college. He quit ITT Tech six months later when he realized it was a scam.
He dumped an absolutely amazing girl because he "wanted to see if life would bring them back together again" (whatever the fuck that means). In reality, he just wanted to have sex with other girls. She now owns a small ad agency in Northern California and, from everything I see on social media, a fairly jet-set life.
He got involved with a guy he met at ITT Tech in a scheme to sell/trade stolen credit card numbers over IRC/tor. They were busted in the early stages of their escapade. His family bailed him out and he immediately fled to Europe. It was a misdemeanor crime (his first offense) and he was looking a fine and some community service. But ol' Edward Snowden over here ran like he had been charged with international espionage.When he came back a year or so later-- penniless after his family finally turned their back on him-- he got _actual_jail time for running.
He really started circling the drain after his 90-day stint in jail (which, the way he talked about it, you would have thought he did a 10-year stretch in San Quentin). He went through countless jobs, constantly getting evicted from apartments or kicked out of friend's houses.
Then he got full-blown addicted... [sigh]... to World of Warcraft. I've had friends get addicted to smack, pills and booze... but I never saw any of them get engulfed by their addictions like WoW did to him. A heroin addict never talks about heroin to their friends who don't also do heroin-- but this apparently isn't the case with WoW addicts. He'd go on for hours about a game I've never played and never showed any interest in playing. I got him a job interview with a family friend who owned an IT company. The job was right up his alley-- decent pay, minimal supervision, flexible schedule. Not only that, but the company was starting to grow and the owner was looking to put a management structure in place-- so there was some headroom for growth. Basically, all he had to do was show up at the interview, put a few semi-cogent sentences together and the job was his.
He never went to the interview. His excuse? He was up late raiding the night before and slept through his alarm. He begged me to call the guy and setup another interview. I lied told him I tried but the guy had already filled the position.
He called me one day and was absolutely hysterical. Apparently, his ex-roommate, upset about the back rent owed to him, stole his computer. He said he was contemplating suicide because his life wasn't worth living without WoW. And that's where I tapped out. I couldn't anymore. It was like watching someone slowly drown in 3 inches of water and refuse to stand up, roll over or do literally anything other than lay there face-down and die.
I still remember the last thing I said to him. "You're a 27 year-old man. If you're thinking about killing yourself because you can't play a fucking video game, then it's probably the first bright idea you've had in a while."
I wish I hadn't said that to him-- but I did. I was furious and disgusted with him. I hated watching my bright, ambitious, amazing best friend slowly wither into this sniveling loser. I didn't respect him anymore since he refused to do anything to help himself. Whenever there was a problem, he'd choose the easy, lazy or foolhardy solution. Whenever there was an opportunity, he'd go out of his way to mess it up, marginalize it or ignore it.
I became a Buddhist and she became a fundamentalist Christian..I tried but soon realized keeping her at a distance was the healthiest and most compassionate thing I could do; eventually she realized I would not engage her when she started trying to convert me and talking badly about my spiritual choices and we just faded out. It something I feel sad about as we were very close friends.
My best friend and I are both professional males over 40 years old. This summer after the launch of Pokémon Go, the game was one of the biggest stories dominating social media. I came across a meme that made fun of Tony Romo throwing pokeball interceptions, so I sent it to him because he's a Cowboy fan. He became mad and said I was trolling him. He was really angry, I didn't think it was a big deal. I sent him some texts over the next few days and he ignored me. I have never heard from him again. Twenty years of friendship down the drain because this guy cares WAY too much about Tony Romo. The funny thing is Romo got hurt in preseason, lost his starting job and may never play for the Cowboys again. Some days I think about this and become super angry and other days I just laugh.
He met his current girlfriend and slowly started neglecting his friends instead hanging out with his girlfriend. Now it may sound petty but I had known this guy for nearly 20 years from the first day of school. This girl also seemed to change him as a person becoming alot more spiteful and depressed.
The straw that broke the camels back for me was when I invited him to the pub for my birthday, less than an hour before we were due to meet up he text me saying he was ill and couldn't make it. I said "Ahhh thats cool man, if you are ill I won't force you to come out." So I went out and met the rest of my friends at the pub, a couple of hours later I see him and his girlfriend (and some of her friends) coming out of another pub close by. I confronted him then and there, I was slightly drunk as this point so I did not hold anything back.
It ended with me saying I was just f*cking done trying with him and that he was not worth my time any more. That was the last time I spoke to him coming up on a year since that point.